trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
