Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.