i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
