at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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