the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
