Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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