if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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