You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
