I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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