Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
