to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
