if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's get the cat blown out
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
