so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
