yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
