You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
