planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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