I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
