I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
