you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
