If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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