I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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