i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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