You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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