I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize