I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
