Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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