Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
