What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
