he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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