Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
