so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
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youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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