good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
