Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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