his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
