obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
