rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
