that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
