I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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