I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
