I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize