Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
