OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
