Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
