Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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