There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just cropdusted the office
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize