Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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