You're my little dorito
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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