i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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