coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
A+ Viking dick
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
