GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
