She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.