she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.