White coat. Heels.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
