at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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