if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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