i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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