Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
