Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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